4 Ways to Get What You Want for the Holidays

I’m not talking about ponies, or iWhatevers, and I’m speaking directly to those of you in the workforce.  Your Holiday Wish List for the office, for your business, for the future of your career might include new technology or a bonus from the boss, but long-lasting career fulfillment is much more economical than that.  We have to change the way we view work, and the resources we use for work.  We want staples and white out and a new mouse pad, but what our souls really crave are much more important. Our wish list should include items that bring about real growth and change and I believe Santa would be thrilled to deliver these:

1. Growth: You want a raise? You want your employees to be committed, loyal and productive? You want a co-worker to understand that you really are trying to be a team player? Tell them.  We think we are more comfortable keeping our desires to ourselves, and sitting in the frustration that comes from that inaction, but are we really?  What would your work environment look like if you brought about healthy change?  In order to do that, we must step outside of our (not so comfortable) comfort zones and find effective ways to speak with grace, appreciation and conviction to those who we work with every day. 

2. Purpose: “What am I doing here?” – or – “If I could only be doing…..” are these things you find yourself saying?  How great would you feel if you could find purpose in what you’re doing, regardless of your current job status?  Searching for vocational mission is on ongoing process, one that brings great contentment as you are met with self-realizations of your abilities, passions and opportunities.  Once those are discovered, the job position becomes secondary and how to utilize your gifts and desires becomes your primary focus. You are able to find purpose in a variety of different roles.

3. Community: Did you know that 30-43% of managerial time is spent mediating conflict between employees?  What if that time could be used for more productive purposes: encouraging employees, engaging the client base, creative planning, infrastructure development…the list is endless.  That list though is being sidelined due to a lack of community.  When employees do not feel they are part of a team, they create silos.  Silos are breeding spaces for pride, apathy, and divisiveness.  If your wish is to be a leader who has more time for business building, or you’re an employee who desires a more peaceful workplace, seek out opportunities to build your work community.

4. Respect: Everyone wants to feel respected.  In the different roles we hold, we want to be validated and encouraged.  We want to know our work is not in vain and is appreciated.  Even the most confident of people have moments of needing an extra dose of confirmation.  So, how do we earn respect?  Respect others and work hard.  Keep those two things at the forefront of your mind, practice them and know that your efforts will not go unnoticed.  

Want Some Help Exploring and Attaining Your Wish List?

5 Ways to Show Thankfulness in your Workplace

Work can be stressful. (I can sense your heads nodding in agreement). 

People at work can be stressful. 

But, let us not deceive ourselves.  At some point, you and I have been the less than ideal employee, the frustrating co-worker, or the seemingly inept leader. 

When we realize this, we are left with a tremendous opportunity to promote growth and change. Each individual's work is important. When the work is done well as a collective group, families, communities, nations benefit in ways that change the patterns of society.  

Let us be thankful this season for the ways everyone around us contributes.

Without the people in your workplace, you wouldn’t be where you are.  It takes a team of people made up of different skills sets and abilities to run a successful business.  Whether a large company, or a small one, each person’s role, at some point, has been a great asset to where it is you are today, and where you hope to be in the future.  You might have that one person in mind who is hard to work with, but I guarantee that even they bring something to the table and deserve to be appreciated. Work is done with more efficiency, care and excitement when done well together.  Showing appreciation for one another is a sure-fire way to bolster moral and encourage productivity.  

5 Ways to Show Appreciation:

1.  Authentic Compliments:

These do not have to be long, wordy, complicated conversations.  With a simple comment of a time when you have observed them being amazing, you will incite a feeling of trust.  This will benefit your relationship, and people are known to cling to positive affirmation to a point that it encourages the same behavior in the future.

2. Lending a Helping Hand:  

What has this employee/co-worker/boss done to help you?  How can you do a small task that takes one thing off of their plate, in an effort to show that their hard work does not go unnoticed? Again, simplicity is key.  Filing a report, covering their class while they use the restroom, making a phone call or delivery for them…small things go a long way.

3. The Thank You note:

In a world of emails, text messages and posts, stand out by giving someone a hand-written note.  I recently had a conversation with a client in which they asked me, “why does your generation never write thank you notes?”  So, let us all rise up and jot down a quick note of appreciation to someone who deserves/needs it.

 

4. Public Praise

Have you ever had a boss commend you in front of your co-workers, or had a friend compliment you online, or had a parent speak with pride about you at Thanksgiving dinner?  Didn’t that feel amazing?  It is now our turn to bestow that upon someone else, and let them know how valued and wonderful they are.

5. Say “thank you.”  

While it seems simple, unless you are someone who is comfortable communicating openly, this can be a daunting task.  I challenge you to step outside of your comfort zone and be a deliverer of appreciation to someone else.  This takes humility, which is an exceptional character trait to practice. Looking into someone’s eyes and just saying, “thank you for being a good friend,” or “thank you for always working so hard,” or “thank you for the promotion, it means so much to me and my family,” is an interaction that will touch the heart of the one you are thanking, and will most likely touch yours, as well.

Work is good, helpful and necessary.  It is not only good for community around us, but it is good for us as individuals, as it presents such wonderful opportunities for us to grow, and for us to show love to one another. 

Happy Thanksgiving, now go out there and thank someone. 

School 360, Part 6: Pro Tips for Educators

With Head of School, Pastor, and Author Sam Kastensmidt

Sam served as a high school Bible teacher for five years. During that time, he absolutely fell in love with teaching and showing people the beauty of Christ in all the Scriptures. During a trip to Israel, he was invited to teach at several locations, including the Mount of Transfiguration, Caiaphas’ house, and the Gardens of En Gedi. Shortly after his trip, he was offered the role of Headmaster at Bethany Christian School, which he accepted.  Since that time, Sam has played a key role in ensuring that his students are surrounded by teachers who communicate love and expertise in the classroom.  Sam has a natural ability to lead teams, and get people excited about what the school community is doing.  It is a great honor to have him speak into how educators can make the most of the school year.  Here we go!

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What are the best practices for teachers in regards to communicating with parents and students?

The most important practice for a teacher in regard to communicating with parents, is to make significant investments of love into the lives of their students AND their parents. During my time in education, I have learned that — more than anything else — a parent needs to know that their child is loved and secure in the learning environment. When we make “deposits” of love and encouragement into the life of a student (and take the time to rightly praise a student for his/her achievements), the foundations for future communication are laid. Only when the foundation of trust is secure can you begin to build upon it. If a teacher (or administrator) has made positive investments into the lives of the family, it is much easier to make the necessary “withdrawals” when difficult situations arise. Administrators would tell you that the most difficult relationships to patch between teachers and families are the ones in which a parent begins, "My child thinks that the teacher doesn’t like him.” The bonds of trust are paramount to effective communication, and the maxim that “no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care” holds true with both students and parents. 
 
In Peter’s first epistle, he wrote, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.” I have learned that this counsel is profoundly true. Love almost always produces a bank of good will, and it fuels a parent’s willingness and desire to give you the benefit of the doubt in your communications. 

Do you have any tips on how teachers can work together to enhance each other's curriculum?

Oddly enough, the greatest barrier to effective collaboration comes not from the lack of good ideas, but a lack of genuine humility and open-handedness to actually carry them out. It is crucial for a teacher to remain a life-long learner with a general conviction that there is ALWAYS room for growth.

As both a writer and a teacher, I can admit that it’s painful and even frightening to hand over my work (my babies) to an editor or a co-author. After all, I’m generally convinced that my ways are best. I’ve worked very hard to produce my curriculum. It is hard putting my labors on the altar and allowing anyone else to raise a knife to them. Critiques or even suggestions can often feel like attacks on our identities as “good” teachers. Yet, if I am truly more interested in improving my students’ learning experiences above satisfying my own ego, then I should crave outside perspectives. I should be eager to marry the strengths of my curriculum with the strengths of others. As teachers, it is imperative that we are constantly reevaluating our methods with open hands. 

Each year, I tell teachers to dump out all of the lesson plans in their “curriculum buckets.” With empty buckets, I then instruct them to search for the lessons that were most effective and engaging for the students and put them back in the bucket. For the lessons that flopped, leave them behind and search for better material, seeking input from colleagues and learning from best practices. 

We all have blind spots (logs in our academic eyes), but only humility can enable our hearts to receive counsel from others to remove the logs and to truly get excited about delivering the collaborative lessons with passion, as if they were our own babies.  

How can teachers create fresh and effective lesson plans?

Collaboration is certainly a great way to keep things fresh and effective. We should seek to learn from others around us. In my experience, passion is crucial to effective lessons. If a student senses that YOU are bored with the material, they will check out. But if you present the material in a passionate and fun manner, they will be caught up in your energy. Before I present a lesson, I try to imagine various ways to make things relevant and engaging. If I’m teaching about exponents, I want to show them how compound interest can transform tiny investments into million dollar nest eggs. If I’m teaching about government, I want to have the students forming a mock government with each of the roles necessary to pass legislation according to the lesson. If I’m teaching a scientific concept, I want to think of ways to demonstrate the properties in front of their eyes. If I’m teaching on parts of speech, I want to select a passage of literature that is funny or engaging. And if I am teaching Bible, I want to make sure that they sense that the Scriptures are supremely precious to me. 

In short, if you can’t get excited about your lesson plans, don’t expect your students to be excited, or even engaged.

How does a teacher move beyond teaching curriculum to being influential in the upbringing of their students?

This question separates good teachers from life-changing teachers. In my experience as a teacher, I have found that the greatest inroads into a student’s life are very rarely made through curriculum or lesson plans. And I say that as a former Bible teacher. When I first started my career as a teacher, my friend Duane Mellor (assistant pastor at Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church) issued a challenge to me. He said, “Sam, if you give me just one week with your students on a mission trip, I guarantee you that I will have a greater impact on their lives than you will have made after a full year teaching behind a podium.” In the past decade, I have learned that Duane was absolutely right! 

The most powerful and transformative moments in my teaching career have come in the situations that are not part of a teacher’s job description. They do not typically happen during lesson plans. It can be something as simple as sacrificing your own lunchtime to sit and have lunch with a struggling student. It can be as simple as attending a game and cheering for your students. More often than not, these transformative inroads come in the opportunities to build up our broken-hearted and insecure students — extending love and mercy in the midst of a student’s failures or loneliness. These relationships are forged when a teacher wisely shares aspects of his/her life, revealing stories of weakness and showing your scars. That sort of prudent vulnerability gives a student great freedom from the thought that they are alone in their anxieties and fears. Finally, students may not realize it, but they are excellent lie-detectors. They intuitively know whether you genuinely love them beyond the classroom, and it’s typically your sacrificial efforts outside of the classroom that can offer that assurance.  

Why is a school's mission statement so important?

Simply put, it offers guidelines and signposts to ensure that we “keep the main thing the main thing.” It is not only prescriptive for all that we do as a school, but it is restrictive to keep us from running into the weeds. 

How does a school get families on board the vision and mission of the school?

“The mission of Bethany Christian School is to educate, equip, and encourage our students to reach their God-given potential and to impact the world for God's glory through a growing relationship with Jesus Christ.” 

I have found that the most effective way to get families involved in the school’s mission is to spread the aroma of Christ. Even our unchurched or skeptical families recognize that there is something profoundly different about the nurturing, Christ-centered environment at Bethany. This, more than anything else, propels people to get involved and invested in the school. They grow to genuinely love the school, because they sense that they are genuinely loved by the school. That’s Bethany’s big secret, and — in my arrogant opinion — Bethany is second-to-none in fostering a healthy spiritual environment for our students and families. 

Beyond that, I think parents will naturally desire to be more involved when they see the fruit of what the school has done for their children — spiritually, socially, and academically. When school becomes a joyous part of their children’s lives, parents will want to be a part of that. 

And there are numerous ways to assist us in carrying out this mission: being diligent in prayer, volunteering for school functions, offering financial support, giving encouragement to teachers and staff, volunteering as a room mom (or dad), referring students for enrollment, building relationships with teachers and other parents in the school, applying for a role as substitute, and so much more.

What are your favorite tips for school administrators and faculty on creating harmony within the school community?

When I first began my career as Bethany’s Headmaster, the former Dean of Students (Dr. Dave Ingram) led a beautiful devotion for our faculty. During that time, he pointed out that the Bible calls upon us all to be priests to one another. We are to shepherd one another, encourage one another, uplift each other in prayer, and want the very best for each other — always pointing one another to the beauty of Christ and His work. As we seek to exalt Christ to each other, the pettiness of prideful squabbles is put into proper perspective. If the God of the universe would humble himself, be tortured, and die for me, then who am I to withhold mercy from others? As one theologian once wrote, Christians should be the most forgiving people in the world, because we are the most forgiven people in the world. And if this God then calls me to love others — as He has loved me — then I have no excuse for perpetuating conflict. And if I consider my squabbles in light of how much I have been loved and forgiven by God, the Spirit will crush my fleshly desire to perpetuate conflict with others. 

The most important element in overcoming existing disharmony in a school community is an unshakable belief in the Holy Spirit’s power to breathe resurrection into dead or wounded relationships. However, resurrection always requires a death. That means that you need to let your grudges die. You need to let your offenses die. Your hatred and envy and your need to be right all need to die before your relationship can be raised to new life. Often times, I am called to mediate in these squabbles. The greatest impediment to harmony is a firm belief that “he/she will never change, and therefore, I am shutting down to protect myself.” If you fear being emotionally abused, trust in the wisdom of Matthew 18. If the other person is unwilling to waver from their animosity, trust the administration (whom God has appointed for that situation) to step in and defend you. Do not jump into the mud pit with them.

When you're hiring, what do you look for in people?

Beyond general qualifications, the three non-negotiable qualities that I must find in an applicant for any position at Bethany are (1) a love for Jesus, (2) genuine humility, and (3) a passion for their calling. If a candidate possesses these qualities, I know that they will be less prone to conflict; I know they will be teachable; I know they will be driven self-starters; and they will be eager to find their chief joy and identities outside of the job. 

It may seem strange for a head of school to say that he does NOT want his teachers to find their chief source of identity or joy in teaching. But I absolutely mean that with all of my heart — for the sake of my teachers and for the sakes of their students. In the past four years, I have had countless encounters with teachers who are burnt out, discouraged, and severely exhausted. Teaching is unbelievably emotionally taxing. Often times, you feel like you’re wasting your efforts. When you’ve poured your whole heart and soul into loving a student, nothing is more crushing than receiving a total blindside from an upset parent. If your identity is wrapped up in teaching, this is utterly devastating. I’ve been at this for a decade, and I still feel crushed when an angry parent questions my heart. In Jeremiah 2, God rebukes the people of Israel—saying that they had committed two sins. Namely, they were relying on their own strength and neglecting His strength. God says that it was as though the Israelites were storing up all of their water in broken cisterns (big holes in the ground) that cannot hold water. And they were choosing to die from their lack of water, when there was a wonderfully plentiful wellspring of life in their midst. I don’t want teachers to look to their cisterns (curriculum, lessons, reputations, etc.) for life. I want them to drink deeply from the ever-flowing wellspring of life found in Christ alone. 

As I’ve said hundreds of times, the most important thing that a teacher has to offer students is her heart. And I know that their hearts will be best nourished when their identity and joy is found in Christ. 

Are there any resources you would recommend to parents?

First, I would encourage all parents to plug into a local church. Beyond that, there are countless wonderful resources for parenting. I really like the lectures and seminars provided by Bob Barnes. 

If there is one big takeaway for our readers, what would it be? 

Always keep Christ first in your life. Jesus promised, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all the other things will be added unto you.” When I can keep my eyes fixed on Jesus (and the wealth of his infinite attributes poured out for me), my perspective on the rest of life is always better. It makes me a better husband, a better dad, a better boss, a better friend, a better pastor, and a better man. 

Social and Emotional Preparedness for the School Year

With Counselor Extraordinaire, Gayle Greenwood

As Director of Counseling at The Lovett School, Gayle has used her unbelievably authentic care for others and her vast knowledge of the heart and mind to care for young people and their families for years. With 25 years of experience as a counselor in the school system, and in working with abused women and young, pregnant girls, Gayle is overflowing with practical wisdom on how we can best prepare and help our children.  It is a great honor to have Gayle, someone who is so passionate about what she does and is very good at it, take time for us today.  Let's rock and roll:

 

Gayle, with so many children starting a new year and many in new places, do you have any tips on how to acclimate well to a brand new school?

It’s important for parents, and kids, to recognize that when leaving a previous school – particularly one that the child has been at for several years – that there is a natural grieving process. This “grief” isn’t always recognized as such and helping the child/family realize what they’re experiencing helps in the acclimating process. It’s important, at the beginning of the summer, to assign a buddy/family to a new child and their family. This helps tremendously. When possible, the buddy should be in the new child’s classroom. It’s also helpful to create a Circle of Families group that consists of the new family and returning families. This provides great support to the parents and kids. As the counselor, I try to eat lunch with all of the new kids to talk about how they’re feeling about their transition. This allows them to get to know me quickly and realize I’m there to talk with and to help.

How can parents best help their children through conflict resolution?

The most important thing a parent can do is listen and help the child, not the parent, problem solve. All too often, parents let their own feelings get involved and this can either add “fuel to the fire” or overly dramatize a situation. Children most want to simply be heard. In order to begin to help, the parent should try to identify the feeling that the child is projecting, i.e., hurt, anger, confusion, etc., and then connect that feeling to the content of the story the child is telling. “So, you sound really hurt that your friends were talking about you. I can understand how that must hurt your feelings. What do you think you might want to do?” Allow the child to offer ideas and then gently guide the child toward an idea that might work by asking “what do you think might happen if you try that? If you don’t?” Try to steer clear of blame on either side.

How can families help students who are overwhelmed by school work?

First and foremost, talk with the teacher. Find out the expectations. Check to see about how long a child should be spending on homework and see if it’s consistent with the time your child is spending. Find ways to “chunk” the homework, put up a calendar on the wall in their study area where projects and deadlines can be noted. Make sure all work is in the book-bag the night before and place the book-bag by the door for easy pick-up. Again, always talk with the teacher first to gauge their perspective on the situation – it might provide some clarity.

How can a school counselor best aid your child?

I always say that I want a child to come in happy in the morning and leave happy in the afternoon because then a child is emotionally ready to learn. When a child is hurting, learning suffers. My job is to help determine why a child is hurting. Children should always be encouraged to self-refer to the counselor and for parents to know that the counselors are part of the team for their child. School counseling offices are a place where a child should feel safe. It is never a place of punishment. While I may talk with a kid about a poor choice, it is never from the perspective of discipline, only from the point of a life lesson.

Are there any resources you would recommend to our readers?

I’m a big proponent of parenting programs. If a school offers one, take advantage of it. I teach Positive Discipline and feel it is an awesome parenting program. I also recommend that parents take a class on children’s sexual safety. The one I teach is entitled Darkness to Light and I highly recommend all parents take such a course. Three authors that I recommend are Dr. Michael Thompson, Wendy Mogel and Dr. Avril Beckford. Awesome people.

If there is one big takeaway for our readers, what would it be?

Love your children without conditions. I think we all say we do, but, often parents place conditions and expectations on children that can cause a child to feel that they must meet/exceed those challenges to feel truly loved and valued. Your child is not you. Welcome mistakes and view them as opportunities to learn/do better. The value of a child is not based on their abilities, but on who they are.